How can you prime yourself internally for an external manifestation of power?

Many negotiations fail not because of a weak strategic approach, but due to a shaky inner construction that reveals itself in lack of conviction in ones` own power, negotiation skills or ability to succeed.
The first step to change and mental reinforcement is to understand what is causing a specific reaction. There might be factors in your conscious that you have pushed in the shadows of unconsciousness, which are holding you back from realizing your full negotiation potential.
Here are five helpful techniques for ultimate self-empowerment:

1. Failure is not an option mindset

A frequent mistake made by negotiators is thinking that “it`s this deal or nothing”. This attitude, known as the knife on the throat, is a sure shot recipe for an emotional hostage-taking. By thinking you have no alternatives you become your own worst counterpart. Desperation is difficult to shake off and hide from the other party. When you go in a negotiation you should go in to win, not to minimize the loss.
How to do this: Use the “I will” formula -> For example, I will win this deal.
What to avoid: Phrases such as “It would be nice to win”, “If only I could win”, “Maybe this time I can manage to win”.

2. Enjoy the game

Negotiation is not an exercise in philanthropy. It often is a way of resolving a conflict which involves making trade-offs. This is fascinating, because a conflict can have many positive aspects, depending on how it is managed. It can stimulate innovation and creativity in finding new solutions, it can create a system of interdependency between the two sides, or it can expand the field of vision beyond the obvious options.
How to do this: Find out what the rules of the game are and become the best player.
What to avoid: Taking things personally. The other side is at the table to maximize the gains for themselves. So are you. Do not let them hold you back from reaching your goal.

3. Relax, then negotiate

Here is an interesting paradox that might help put things into perspective. Business professionals often share with me that they tense up before a negotiation, they dread what lies ahead, and wish it was over already. Meanwhile crisis negotiators from the FBI or the NYPD, who are involved in life and death negotiations, share with me that they face the crisis situations from a place of calm. Imagine how things would escalate if they added their distress to an already tense situation.
How to do this: Before the negotiation, listen to a song that calms you down or energizes you in a positive way, or remember a joke that cracks you up.
What to avoid: The spiral of negativity and anxiety. Avoid people who usher you into any of these states.

4. Beware of labels

Imagination is often far worse than reality. This is what makes the mind the most dangerous place. The way that you paint the negotiation scene can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you brace yourself for a tough negotiation, it has just become ten times tougher, because you will pay more attention to the “tough” aspects and sweep aside the positive elements (and vice versa).
How to do this: See a negotiation as any other life situation – it will have its ups and downs. Accept this and keep your eye on the prize when the going gets a bit tougher. It will then fluctuate back up. Nothing lasts forever, neither the good nor the bad moments.
What to avoid: Phrases such as “this is going to be a difficult discussion”, “this is a high-pressure situation”, “I am entering a battlefield” (direct quotes from practice).